Fueled by Feedback: Building Trust and a Culture of Candor with Melissa Eisler

Feedback is one of the most important tools we have for developing as leaders, strengthening relationships, and building high-performing teams. Yet, in many organizations, it remains one of the most uncomfortable and misunderstood aspects of leadership.

Why is it that feedback can be so difficult to give and receive, even in organizations that emphasize its importance? And what if the real challenge isn’t feedback itself, but the culture, relationships, and leadership behaviours that shape how feedback is experienced?

In this episode of Inspirational Leadership, I’m joined by Melissa Eisler, Master Certified Executive Coach, team facilitator, founder of Wide Lens Leadership, and author of Fueled by Feedback: Rethinking the System That Shapes Leadership, Trust, and Culture. Melissa brings a fresh perspective to the conversation, exploring why feedback is about much more than communication skills and how leaders can create environments where people feel safe to speak openly, learn from one another, and grow.

Together, we explore the connection between feedback, trust, psychological safety, and emotional intelligence, along with practical ways leaders can create a culture where feedback becomes part of how people work together every day.

 Listen to the episode:

 Watch on YouTube:

Feedback Is About More Than a Conversation

Many organizations invest in feedback training, introduce performance review processes, and encourage employees to have more candid conversations. Yet, despite these efforts, feedback can still feel uncomfortable, ineffective, or even counterproductive.

Melissa challenges us to look beyond the mechanics of giving feedback and consider the broader environment in which those conversations take place.

When people don’t feel safe speaking honestly, even the most thoughtfully delivered feedback can fall flat. Employees may hesitate to share concerns, leaders may avoid difficult conversations, and opportunities for growth can be missed.

The issue isn’t necessarily that people don’t know how to give feedback. It may be that the relationships and culture around them don’t support it.

This is an important distinction for leaders. Instead of asking, “How can we get better at giving feedback?” we can begin asking, “What needs to be true in our culture for feedback to be welcomed, trusted, and acted upon?”

That shift opens the door to a much deeper conversation about leadership, relationships, and organizational culture.

Leaders Must Be Willing to Receive Feedback

One of the most important aspects of creating a feedback-rich culture is recognizing that leadership development begins with ourselves.

Leaders often focus on how they deliver feedback to others. But how willing are they to receive it?

Being open to feedback requires self-awareness, humility, and a willingness to examine how our behaviours affect the people around us. It means recognizing that our intentions don’t always align with our impact and that others may experience us differently than we experience ourselves.

For leaders, this can be particularly challenging. The more senior we become, the fewer people may feel comfortable challenging our perspectives or telling us what we need to hear.

When leaders actively invite feedback, listen without becoming defensive, and demonstrate a genuine willingness to learn, they send a powerful message to their teams: growth is everyone’s responsibility.

And when leaders model this behaviour consistently, they help create the conditions for others to do the same.

Balancing Candor with Care

Honest conversations are essential to building trust, but honesty alone isn’t enough.

How we communicate matters. Feedback that is delivered without care or consideration can damage relationships, even when the underlying message is valid. On the other hand, when leaders prioritize keeping everyone comfortable, they may avoid the conversations that are necessary for growth.

The challenge is learning to balance candor with care.

This means being willing to address difficult issues directly while demonstrating respect, empathy, and a genuine commitment to the other person’s development.

It also requires recognizing that good intentions don’t automatically translate into a positive impact. A leader may believe they are being helpful, while the person receiving the feedback experiences the interaction very differently.

Developing this awareness allows leaders to become more intentional about how they approach conversations, how they communicate their message, and how they respond to the other person’s experience.

The goal isn’t to avoid discomfort. It’s to create the trust and connection that make honest, productive conversations possible.

The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Feedback

Giving and receiving feedback is deeply connected to emotional intelligence.

When feedback touches on something personal, challenges our self-image, or highlights an area where we feel vulnerable, it’s natural to experience an emotional reaction.

We may become defensive, shut down, justify our actions, or focus on explaining ourselves rather than understanding the message.

This is where self-awareness and self-regulation become essential leadership capabilities.

By recognizing our emotional triggers and learning to pause before reacting, we create space to respond more thoughtfully. Instead of immediately defending our position, we can approach the conversation with curiosity.

Questions such as “What might I be missing?” or “Can you help me understand what you experienced?” can shift the dynamic from defensiveness to learning.

Curiosity also helps leaders become more effective when giving feedback. Rather than assuming we understand the other person’s perspective, we can ask questions, listen carefully, and seek to understand what may be contributing to the situation.

These small but intentional shifts can transform the quality of our conversations and strengthen the relationships that underpin effective leadership.

Creating a Culture Where Feedback Thrives

A culture of feedback isn’t created through a single training session or an annual performance review. It develops through the everyday behaviours, expectations, and practices that shape how people work together.

Leaders play an important role in making feedback a normal and constructive part of organizational life.

This might include:

• Embedding feedback into everyday conversations. Making space for regular check-ins and ongoing dialogue rather than relying solely on formal performance reviews.
• Creating opportunities for people to speak openly. Encouraging employees to share perspectives, raise concerns, and challenge ideas without fear of negative consequences.
• Modeling openness and accountability. Demonstrating a willingness to receive feedback, acknowledge mistakes, and make changes based on what is learned.
• Building feedback into organizational routines. Integrating opportunities for reflection and feedback into onboarding, team meetings, performance conversations, and leadership development.
• Strengthening the skills that support productive conversations. Developing leaders’ capacity for active listening, curiosity, courage, compassion, and emotional self-regulation.